I'm missing it. I'm missing the first step, the first tooth, the first word. I'm missing the ten thousandth dirty diaper. I'm missing the cries in the middle of the night. I'm missing the first bruised knee. I'm missing the snotty nose and tear-filled eyes. I'm missing the first spoonful of green beans being spat upon the floor. I'm missing bottles and pacifiers and bibs. I'm missing the perfect crib placed in the corner by the window. I'm missing the proud grandparents.
I'm missing the love...the connection. I'm missing it because I've only experienced these things in my dreams at night. I cannot explain the pride a new mother has. I'm still waiting. And until then I will continue to watch others who have them and try to live through them. And I pray that one day I will be missing those things in another way than I am missing them now.
