Reflection

Today has been a crazy day full of bad news. A lot of people I love are hurting very badly today. In twelve hours, I heard about 5 deaths in this immediate area. Five. There was a very bad helicopter crash last night of the Air Evac team in this area. My friend's grandpa passed away yesterday. And my friend's son committed suicide. So many people are hurting and sad and it hurts me that I have no idea what to do.

I've been surrounded by death since I was young. I grew up with older grandparents in a community full of older people. The first death I remember was when I was four. I think I started going to funerals before that. I have no clue how many funerals and visitations I've been to in my thirty years. I know that when someone dies, the best thing you can do for them is be there. You can take food and paper goods to make the time easier on them. You can take them flowers to make their house appear cheery. But you can do nothing to take the pain away. I've done these things for a long time. But what do you do when someone commits suicide? I'm not sure that there is anything you can do to make that time easier. I'm completely at a loss.

But I'm taking this time to do some reflecting on my own life. That may sound selfish but I'm trying to be better. I know now that I've been through all the funerals and death so that I can help other people. Maybe that's what God's purpose has been for me all along. I don't believe God only has one purpose for us, but maybe that's a big part of mine. I always feel obligated to do something when someone dies, whether I knew them well or not. Maybe that's the Holy Spirit guiding me into my purpose.

So now I have to figure out my purpose in this time. I'm praying that God will guide me toward what I'm supposed to do right now and that He will be a comfort and strength to so many people that are in pain.